Thursday, December 22, 2005
HVV IS BACK!
What I've been up to, darlings.
People have been asking about me, where the fuck I have been to, and why am I not updating MOT. Either they have, or I'm just delusional. Anyway, I haven't forgotten MOT, its just that I've been doing a little, well, undercover for now.
Because the President was so pleased with how I extracted the nuts of the indian pizza dude who slept with his wife while he was snoring away at Parliament meetings and Star Awards, he gave me another assignment and that is to go explore the Fiery Volcano of Bukit Timah and slay the Dragon, nicknamed Dra-gon. By doing so, I will attain the SK2 v.8 skin whitening cream, bring it back to him and he will mass develop it and sell it to all indians so they won't be racially discriminated anymore!
Bad move, President. You obviously forgot about The Stink.
Oh and in case any of you little punks pull that "I wanna sue you" thingy again, I'm referring to the President of Tiki Gombak Island. *winks*
Well, back to business.
Camry and Pring are currently on attachment with the CyberNanny but what those saggy old cunts don't know is, the two of them are actually snooping around for the new business we're going to set up called MOTnanny.
What is MOTnanny, you ask. Well I have no idea either, but I'll give it a shot and get a FAQ done.
What does MOTnanny does?
Alright, here's the thing. You subscribe for us for only $199.58 a month and we mail to your house a wooden stick, instant coffee mix and a bagel every month! You see, CyberNanny can't block your kid from EVERY porno site possible, so the only person you can really trust is yourself! Here at MOTnanny, we invest in your trust to make things work. First, make yourself a nice cuppa coffee with the instant coffee mix, grab a chair and sit in front of your kid when he's using the computer. If you even notice anything that reveals skin under the neck, you take the wooden stick and whack the hell out of your kid. After that he can get back to using the computer, and you can get back to watching him/her.
As simple as A, B, uh.. G?
How many questions does this FAQ entertain?
3, to be exact.
Can I ask another question?
No, 3 questions up.
So, I hope this makes you understand better our current situation, thus the lack of updates. However, there is ANOTHER tiny weeny problem. As the wooden sticks don't come cheap and we heard the cheapest coffee mix is all the way at Tiki Island, we need cold, hard cash to purchase wooden sticks, a boat ticket to Tiki Island and of course, not forgetting a haircut.
So we're thinking of retailing MOT tshirts, printing our own t-shirts and selling it to you loyal MOT fans! It'd be lesser of MOT here and there, but more of anti-twit stuff. Imagine wearing a t-shirt with hello kitty shot in the head and walking past a twit dressed like she wants to be Hello Kitty. It'd kill them definitely.
So, we need your feedback. Are you guys willing to purchase them, help us pass our financial crisis, stop kids from jacking off to porn, pissing the twits off with your shirt making a statement and MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE?! ARE YOU GUYS WILLING TO HUH?
Tell me you are, please. PLEEEEASE.
Alright, Cam is here, stealing HVV's post. Please don't hit me darling. Anyway, I want to update a little on the t-shirts.
How 'bout calling them MOTees (em - oh - tees)? I think it sounds good. Don't you? :D Do give us more suggestions!
And from the tagboard, I can see that the response is quite good.
anonymous =): maybe u guys can open a competition to the best design or something... i think if they're cheap definately they'll sell. =)
Lovely idea. It's really nice to see MOT fans interacting with us. Yeah. Imagine you see another MOTfan on the streets wearing your design. Ain't it cool?! You can even see twits feeling all insulted by your design. Heh.
But erm, competition? Okok. A friendly one it shall be. The designer with the most kAwAiIx design stands to win a 2 way sampan ticket to Tiki Gombak and have a dinner date with DarkO'stinky. Be sure you enjoy the stench!
I'll be waiting for the designs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111
Hey but the words on them can't be too sacarstic or cheem in case the twits don't find it funny. haha.
How are we going to purchase them if this really falls through?
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