we are the new shit.

Hello babes and hunks. Pring the King is here to share with his loyal fans some very precious and useful information.
Seriously, this will be a very good guide for twits wannabes. Or already one, yet wanna get more ideas to make their own profile seem more fancy! Here are some very interesting things you should do to your profile.

Step 1. Go to Account Settings, change your First and Last Name to something really COOL.
E.g. t00tdollie, pyNkrAwkz, bAoBeIz, pUrrPletEaRs

Step 2. For the rest of the profile, click Edit Profile.

Step 3. Announce how much you hate your school.


Step 4. Write absolute nonsense in these fields:


Step 5. In the About Me section, include a short summary of yourself.
Try to make it sound as pathetic as possible. State if you're SINGLE or ATTACHED so people don't go on wasting their time reading if you're not available.


Step 6. Remember to boast about your height/weight and your stats if you like.
If you have it, then flaunt it. Even if you don't, just be confident.

Remember to add on with a full body selfshot picture of yourself standing in front of the mirror, preferably the reflection from underground MRT station doors.

Step 7. Write all your jiemui names down
Be careful not to miss any names down as it may cause an arguement to arise. Put those in gangs up in front, just to ensure when you get into trouble, they know they're your number #1!



Step 8. List your <3 lorves <3 and <\3 tao yans <\3



The 3 MUST-HATES: Backstabbers, copycats, liars.
MUST HAVE BACKSTABBERS. Its so important if you don't have backstabbers in your list of hates you will be condemned from the Friendster community. Backstabbers, REMEMBER.

Step 9. Say you love your boyfriend aka laogong.
Even if it's only for 1 week. After you 2 have broken up, remember to change your profile and whine how much you cannot live without him.


Step 10. Add a nonsensical phrase or two.
Best if it sounds sad and depressed, as if you want to die yet you don't dare to.










Step 11. End it with a copyright.
Print that out, bring it to NTUC, go and try scanning that barcode and see if it works.
Also remember to say be original, d0nch copy.



Step 12. Describe the people you would like to meet
If you want friends, put ANYONE. If you want friends but want to act cool, put Nobody, then leave a few lines and leave your email, MSN, blog address, handphone number, IC number and any other number that can allow people to identify you.






Step 13. And remind idiots not to add you.



Step 14. Include your email address.
An email you never created, preferably.




Step 15. Tell us when you last updated this profile.




Step 16. Ask people to write you testimonials.
Occasionally give one with a ROCK ON hand signal. That makes you look very rocker and Sylvester Sim!!!
If not, basically anything will do. They do not even need to make sense. You can use the testimonial page as your chatbox.




Tips:

When your account is finally full, put a II III IV V behind your name. It makes you seem like you're very popular because you have added many strangers into your account.

Add a ' or - in front of your name to make sure your name is in the first page of all of your friend's lists.

So what are you waiting for? Go make your very own twittish friendster account NOW and make new friends!!!

// posted by dropdead super handsome Pring. @ 1:30 AM